About a year and a half ago I joined a yahoo group for very conservative Mennonites and Amish people. I joined the group with good intentions. I have been deeply hurt by my conversion into the life as a young person. My experience with my conservative Mennonite church was quite negative and so I thought I could share some light with some of this group's participants on the controlling practices of insular groups like this one since it is my belief that they tend to prey on dependant families, and women and children using the dependence of their followers as a sort of human fuel to further their religious pursuits.
The emails that I received from this group took me back to my childhood where I grew up in a very controlled environment, fearing the wrath of God every day when I didn’t dress properly, worship God correctly, greet church members appropriately, participate in church approved activities only (which basically elimitated sports activities; the one thing that I loved most in my life) and the list goes on and on. The problem became that I began to hide real destructive behavior in an effort to conform to the church's standards while I was a member of a church that prided itself in its nonconformity to the world.
After about six months of reading emails from the group I had to stop the emails from coming into my computer because the experience was just too painful. But from time to time I would jump onto the web and read a group email. Without fail I would read and email and need to respond to it. Over the past year I submitted several emails to the group on subjects like modesty in dress, education, health care, the holy kiss, and probably other issues too. The group would lovingly rebuke me on a regular basis using Biblical passages carefully explain the error of my way on the particular issue. I had to ignore much of their responses because they were too upsetting to me. I could easily take over the group by sending just one dissenting email and then check back a few days later to read a few responses. But I could not read the emails every day because I would get so upset. I just wanted to give a different view in the hopes that maybe some young vulnerable girl somewhere might pick up on. It seems like most of the emails came from young women. I am not the devil. But I am someone that believes Jesus message is not always clear especially to people within strict conservative churches. Jesus many times answered questions with another question or a story.
Recently I began to care less about whether or not I got kicked out of the group. I started disagreeing more openly and writing more often. Of course I got caught! I have posted the email below that I received from the moderator of the group today. It is impossible for me to hate the people in the group even though I know that there is hatred in my heart toward the bondage that I endured for much of the time that I spent within system created by the conservative Mennonite religion espoused by this group. They tend to be a soft spoken, loving, people who say that they believe the Bible. It is so hard to find anything wrong with that; I was one of the unlucky people who came in contact with them when I was young and defenseless. Anyway when I tried to get access to the group this morning I was locked out and here’s the letter I received today from the moderator, Richard E. Mummau.
------------ Forwarded message ------------
From: Richard E. Mummau
Date: Aug 12, 2010
Subject: Brian Christner's blog
To: Brian Christner
Hello Brian,
Someone sent this blog to me. It is apparent that you have struggled with submitting to any church that has had standards for the members. You are not the first person who has gone though this. But it seems that you have the same struggles now. Some of your responses on the list also made it evident that you do not really appreciate the Conservative Mennonite Churches and what they stand for.
In one of your letters, you mention that you are part of the “Conservative Mennonite Conference”. I have a sister in the Conservative Mennonite Conference and it is anything but *Conservative*. In fact the Conservative Mennonite Conference is not much different than Mennonite Church USA in many ways.
The Question I have for you is this. What is your purpose for being on the Amish and Mennonite Group? We are there to help people find their way and to learn to understand what the Conservative Mennonites/Anabaptist believe and practice. But it is evident from your blog that you already know what the Conservative Mennonite Churches believe.
In one of your posts, you mention something about being sidetracked by the truth. Do you really want to know the truth? From what I have read, it seems that you *know* what the truth is, but you are not willing to accept it for yourself, and you seem to want to downgrade it in the eyes of other people.
We really do not want someone on the list who is going to be always finding fault with what the Conservative Anabaptists/Mennonites believe. We appreciate honest questions and want to answer them. You say “Now I’m going to have to figure out what to do with all of these poisonous emails streaming into my computer, at a rate of several per hour”;
What do you mean by “Poisonous emails”?
If you really want to learn, we want to be a help to you.
I will appreciate hearing back from you
My I send you my personal testimony on CD. I was a drunken bum for many years. The Lord saved me in 1973 and delivered me from a sinful life. I was brought up in a Mennonite home also, but left the church when I was in my teens.
Just send me your address and I’ll send you a FREE CD of my testimony.
You have a great day.
In Him,
Richard Mummau
Moderator
Providentially I came across your blog today. I too was a part of this same Yahoo group and share your same negative experience. I will say that I do know of Godly conservative Mennonite families who are genuinely living after Christ, but they are mostly generational Mennonites and this is the only life that they know. I don't doubt the genuinness of their faith and they have been a great example to me. You are correct, however, in that among SOME conservative Mennonites there is a certain demographic of people that they try to lure into their community. It seems like there is a big movement to proselytize Christins who are "outsiders" to bring them into the conservative community. I don't know if this is because their numbers are dwindling from within or what. I entered having, I guess, a romanticized notion of life as a Mennonite - living whole heartedly for Christ and having things like modest dress as an outward witness to those in the world that I was set apart for Christ. However, upon becoming involved in the conservative Mennonite community it soon felt to me that I was in a cult-like atmosphere. For example, telling your members that higher forms of education (past 10th grade)is "verboten" drastically limits their individual independance and ability to think for themselves, thus keeping them dependant on "the brotherhood". There are too many life decisions that "the brotherhood" makes in these people's lives, but it is their belief that Christ speaks to them through the authority of the church leaders. Also, certain male church leaders are the only ones "permitted" within their conservative communities to have use of internet technology but not other existing church members. My eyes were also opened up to what is really believed about "non-resistance". I thought you could still serve in the military, just not in a combat function (i.e. "desk job"). I naively thought that this just pertained to military service, however in the Mennonite community I came to understand that it extended to all aspects of life - one is not to defend themselves. Sorry, but if someone comes up to me and tries to assult me on the street I'm going to do everything in my power to get away from the situation. This leads one to the logical conclusion (and I have read independant studies to back this up) that domestic abuse is not uncommon in these communities, neither are other inappropriate forms of abuse against children, but they are rarely reported. I felt that there was inconsistancy in a lot of areas. Like, if higher education is frounded upon, why is it then OKAY for them to avail themselves of services of people "in the world" such as doctors, accountants,etc.(who obviously have a great deal of extended education)and benefit from those services? Also, they reap the benefits of living in a country where they are free to exist in their own sub-culture (thanks to the Lord, first and foremost) but also thanks to the men and woman of the armed services - people "in the world" who continue to defend our nation and protect it. Also, it isn't enough that the Bible is your standard for how to life a Godly life, but it is the "church's" interpretation of what the Bible teaches that is to be adheared to. There are also a lot of "extra-Biblical" rules within the community (ex: keeping to the uniform cape dress and covering) that if you deviate from you are going to hear about it!
ReplyDeleteI was looking to live a Godly life separated unto the Lord but living in a conservative Mennonite community really messed with me and my spiritual life. I still am trying to get over the emotional damage resulting from being in such an environment.
Wow... I just stumbled onto you comment about my blog. Thank-you for writing this all out. We have a lot in common. I was not born into the Conservative Mennonite community either although my family came in contact with the religion when I was 12 and my family was in need of help. It took many years for my family to get separated fully from the Conservative Mennonites. Obviously every person's experience is unique; I have written a book about my experiences in the culture. I would share more of my experiences with you if you contact me at the email address on my blog. Thanks again, Brian
ReplyDeleteI was born into the Conservative Mennonite community, and the name Richard Mummau is one that I know. I have been out for a little more than 5 years now, and the leaving process was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life. The things you've written are true about the conservative mennonites, and I am still struggling with being free from it all. It is severe mind control with the threat of eternal punishment from God if you don't keep all the "extra-biblical" rules. Leaving was like a living death because nearly all my friends and family were also part of the cm community and when you no longer agree to live according to their rules, you are cut off socially, and subjected to severe judgement and condemnation. I agree that this could be called a cult. I can also say that leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me, and that it is possible to heal and find freedom, and learn to trust God and people again, even though I am still not all the way there.
ReplyDelete